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Sabrina Zohar: How to Stop Chasing People Who Don’t Want You

Jay sits down with dating and relationship coach Sabrina Zohar to unpack why we chase the familiar over the safe, how childhood attachment shapes adult dating patterns, and the real difference between boundaries and walls. Together they dig into anxious-avoidant dynamics, chemistry versus compatibility, why we fall for people's potential instead of their reality, and practical tools for healing and showing up differently in love.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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What We Discuss:

00:00 Introduction

00:45 Sabrina's Turning Point: "Why Am I Like This?"

03:13 Familiarity Vs. Safety

05:19 How Childhood Attachment Shapes Us

08:45 Nervous System Triggers & Protest Behavior

11:01 Building Confidence & Setting Incremental Boundaries

13:47 Boundaries Vs. Walls

15:42 Guilt, Control, And People-Pleasing

19:14 Is There Such A Thing As "The One?"

21:14 Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics

25:50 Short-Term Discomfort Vs. Long-Term Unhappiness

29:47 The Fallacy of "Right Person, Wrong Time"

34:16 The Anxious-Avoidant Dynamic

39:02 Attachment Style Myths

41:56 Seeking Connection Vs. Testing For Validation

45:53 Peaceful Love Vs. "Trauma Tingles"

48:36 Green Flags & Early Dating Distractions

52:49 Stop Taking Things Personally

57:14 Pacing Emotional Intimacy

58:58 Why We Pursue Unavailable People

01:01:44 Overcoming Situationships

01:05:00 The Lonely Side of Healing

01:08:01 Finding Closure Within Yourself

01:10:45 Weaponizing "Therapy Speak" To Avoid Accountability

01:12:47 Overcoming Singlehood Scarcity

01:16:51 Falling For Potential Vs. Accepting Reality

01:18:41 Sabrina On Final Five

Episode Resources:

Read Sabrina’s book | https://sabrinazohar.com/book

Website | https://sabrinazohar.com

YouTube | https://youtube.com/@sabrina_zohar?si=92IqIf9b6jaIAoj5

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar?stkn=MXRwNmN4Z3djMWh5Yg==

TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar?_r=1&_t=ZP-9AJwxjLdOV4

Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063642420347&mibextid=wwXIfr

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